


Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me

by Domi33



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Character Study, I wrote this fic as an experiment, M/M, Stream of Consciousness, and I don't even know how to tag it, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 07:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20503364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Domi33/pseuds/Domi33
Summary: This is my attempt at writing a character study about Aziraphale, his feelings for Crowley, and his anxieties about falling in love with a demon.





	Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me

_Can an angel Fall for loving a demon?_

Aziraphale doesn’t know the answer.

_No, perhaps not._

Perhaps he is safe, as long as he doesn’t give in to his sinful desires; as long as he pretends to ignore the wanton gaze Crowley gives him time and time again; as long as he doesn’t feed the hunger that eats away at him as he watches Crowley do the simplest things, like smile or drink or walk.

_Damn his walk._

Who knew that such an innocent act could turn into a seduction, a temptation, an invitation; the reason Aziraphale has to close his eyes and take a deep breath every time Crowley happens to be near him, just to remind his corporal body that he shouldn’t give in to the _yearning_ that he feels; that he shouldn’t feel this way in the first place; no, not with this passion, not with this ferocity, no, _please_, dear God.

He wonders if it’s part of God’s Great Plan. It very well could be; at least that’s how Aziraphale chooses to calm himself. _It’s ineffable,_ he says to himself, repeating it like a mantra every time his feelings threaten to crawl out of his heart, through his chest, and out of his lips. Aziraphale dreads the day his body betrays him; the day his tongue says _enough_, the day he stabs himself in the back and reveals himself to Crowley against his better judgment.

_I love you, I love you, I love you…_

Not that Crowley doesn’t know. _Oh, he knows._ Otherwise, he wouldn’t tempt Aziraphale into spending so much time with him; he wouldn’t purposefully dress in a way he knows Aziraphale finds undeniable; he wouldn’t have saved Aziraphale more times throughout history than there are stars in the cosmos.

_The stars._ Crowley helped create them – Aziraphale likes to think that is the reason for their magnificence – and when he offers to run off to Alpha Centauri together, Aziraphale wants to say yes. He wants it more than he’s ever wanted anything in his life but he just _can’t_. He is an angel after all, even if he wants nothing to do with Heaven anymore. He can’t abandon humanity, not even for Crowley.

That is precisely the problem. Aziraphale would give his life for Crowley and Crowley would give his life for Aziraphale but that makes them both traitors, rebels, _liabilities_. If someone were to find out…

They have to keep the delicate balance, the status quo, the Arrangement, which has an unspoken clause: _love me, love me, love me,_ but keep it to yourself, no matter what it takes.

Even after stopping Armageddon, Aziraphale can’t rid himself of the uncomfortable feeling that someone is watching, and if he were to reach out and interlock his fingers with Crowley’s, they would both explode and be reduced to a thousand pieces of ash and dust within a millisecond.

Crowley tries to ease his fears; gently, patiently. Unlike Aziraphale, he isn’t scared anymore.

_Trust me, trust me, trust me, _Crowley pleads. Then _kiss me, kiss me, kiss me_.

Aziraphale does.

The Universe holds its breath.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Comments are appreciated.
> 
> If you have found any grammar or vocabulary errors while reading, please let me know, so I can correct them.  
(English is not my first language, but I'm trying my best.)


End file.
